Border Trauma & Animal Adventures

Can you find the monkey above??

Goat Pallooza at the Kenyan border..

Well, today was full of excitement and commotion as we embarked on our one day trip to Kenya to visit St. Catherine's school. In the spirit of full disclosure, let me admit that I was in no way psychologically prepared for the challenges that came our way. We left Kampala at 6 am and headed east on the road to Kenya. Driving in the dark here is very scary because, with no highway or street lights, the road is completely dark - not to mention that motorcycles and pedestrians are constantly dashing out into the road without warning and that giant trucks coming from the opposite direction blind you with their high beams. There is also constant dust and a relentless smell of fuel from passing trucks - not fun! Our excellent and faithful driver, Zziwa (zee-waa) has all of my respect!

Sure, there were a few fun and interesting moments such as when we came upon a huge flock of storks (a creature that I did not anticipate seeing here but it is everywhere, scavenging and circling above like a vulture). And, in addition to seeing lots of tea plantations and rice fields, I did catch my first glimpse of the Nile which was thrilling, of course.

However, the happiness that I was feeling about my globalness finally reaching the Nile was short lived as I felt nothing but fear and anxiety as we approached the Uganda / Kenya border. Oh my goodness - it was a scene worthy of Spielberg - massive humanity on the move mixed in with cars and bikes and animals - especially goats - goats were everywhere!! (and I am NOT a fan of goats ever since my neighbor in Dallas decided to violate every city ordinance by having a goat family in the backyard and I would wake up to goat sounds every morning- but this is a different story). Anyway, it was chaotic and became more horrendous and chaotic as we went on.

First, our once-jovial Scooby Doo van was rushed by men who may or may not have had an official role at the border - all offering to help us find our way through the madness. We made it to the little office where we had to get out to get an "exit" stamp from Uganda - which voided the visa that I just purchased at the airport 4 days ago (has it only been 4 days?) for $50.00 (great - I got to purchase a "fresh" visa a few hours later for a "fresh" $50.00 for the next 4 days..). Other than this fairly mild annoyance, the Ugandan office was ok to us. We were not so lucky at the Kenya office, a few feet down the road....

So, Alexis and I were the two US citizens who needed a visa from Kenya. We got out of the van, stepped into red mud, stepped around several goats (who apparently do not need a visa - they can come and go as they please) and fought our way up to the visa window with all of our stellar documentation. Well, we quickly learned that the Kenyan immigration officials are not eager to welcome foreigners into the country. I was given a very hard time by my official because I did not have US dollars and he "wanted dollars". I lost it for a moment and my former Dean of Students voice came out as I inquired "Well, do you take credit cards?" - Given that we were in a scenario filled with goats and carbon copies, this question was more than ludicrous. Luckily, Alexis had US Dollars so that got me my visa as well as a look of disdain from the official who summoned me into the office (booth) where Alexis was having a "conversation" with the other official.

As you would imagine, Alexis, as head of an NGO which works in Africa, has traveled quite a bit and has a pretty full passport. According to the border officials, this excessive stampage is nothing short of a crime in Kenya and shows Alexis' complete disregard for authority and for moral order - in fact, she could be a terrorist (according to Officer Friendly). Alexis was most calm and gentile as she was being reprimanded and sent back to the US embassy for more passport pages. She just cooed at the official "don't you see a little space here? couldn't you just place a stamp here?" He was not impressed but was left somewhat speechless by her innocent questions so he asked me "Madam, why don't you talk to your friend?" Up until this moment, I had remained quiet. However, since he asked... I responded with the same line I used with customer service at the Hotel Shalimar in Bombay which was, "Sir, I assure you that you do not want to hear what I have to say." I went on with "I will not be telling you my opinion here but I will be publishing it later on the world wide web." Finally, we left thinking that we would have to leave Alexis behind at the goat-crossing while we visited the school in Kenya. And this is when the official low point of the trip occurred. Going back to the van, I looked over the whole scene and asked Alexis "Well, should we step around the mud or step around the goats?"- a sentence which I never thought I would say in my life! We decided on the goats and that's when Officer Jovial came running out because he suddenly "remembered" that Alexis could get a visitor pass for the day - what luck! We decided that the officials just wanted the money and that they obviously entertain themselves by harassing people all day- nice.

So, Alexis got her pass while I sat in the van and was mocked by a very large and very loud goat and then we were finally on our way!! Unbeknownst to us, our difficulties with creatures (human and otherwise) were not totally over for the day as we were later harassed by a menacing bee and had to pull over in order to get it out of the van. There was one other menace named "Fred" who was a real creeper who came up to our window and pressed himself against it trying to chat with us - it was seriously creepy because he randomly appeared twice when we had to stop. One creature which I would have liked to see more of was the frolicking monkey who lives with his friends and family at St.Catherine's school but he also decided to mock me by giving us just a little glimpse of his monkey ways...

Well, that was the journey today (plus the fact that the Kenyan officials welcomed us back like best buds when we came back across - lunacy!!). More about the destination, St. Catherine's School, coming soon!